


Self-Starter

by starlight_starbright



Series: Tumblr Prompt Fills [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nightmares, Post CA:TWS, Protective!Steve, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight_starbright/pseuds/starlight_starbright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ll always come for you,” Steve murmurs. “’Till the end of the line, Buck.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self-Starter

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Anberlin.
> 
> Why do you stay until you see blood?  
> Why does the weight fall upon us?  
> We're on the same side in the same war  
> Why stay til you see blood?

_Bucky can't believe it._

_“It’s Steve,” the man says. But it doesn’t look like Steve. He’s bigger, has more muscle. Steve is a skinny asthmatic kid who can't put on weight to save his life. This has to be Zola fucking with him. The man pulls Bucky to his feet and Bucky’s vision clears enough to recognise the eyes. Steve’s eyes. “I thought you were dead,” Steve says, eyes running over Bucky’s body like he’s a miracle. His hand comes up to cup Bucky’s jaw._

_“I thought you were smaller.” Steve looks like he wants to laugh, but doesn’t. Bucky tries to hide the pain, but Steve basically has to carry him out of the room. “What happened to you?” he asks Steve, because he doesn’t know if they’ll make it through the night. This could all be a dream, but he wants to know, even if it’s an answer fabricated by his mind._

_“I joined the army,” Steve shoots back. Exactly what Steve would say, downplaying it. But Bucky still can't tell if it’s a dream because he knows that kid like the back of his hand—his brain would have no trouble coming up with what Steve would say._

_“Did it hurt?” he asks, worried. It looks like it hurt. He knows what they did to him—Zola had tried a few serums on him, and it had hurt like a bitch. God knows how much pain the real serum caused._

_“A little,” Steve calls back to him. Bucky stumbles into a wall before he can ask his next question._

_“Is it permanent?” He doesn’t have time to catch his breath or stop or take a break . . . but hearing Steve’s voice just a few feet ahead of him is helping—helping him endure the pain so that they can both get the hell out of here._

_“So far.” Sarcastic little shit. Leave it to Steve to try and find humour in their situation—to try and make Bucky laugh right now._

His dream fast-forwards.

_Bucky’s whole body is shaking, throwing off his balance. This beam is going to break and go down with him on it if he doesn’t jump, so he takes a few steps and leaps toward the rail, grabbing on just hard enough to pull himself away from the ledge. He turns around immediately to see Steve eyeing up the gap._

_“There’s gotta be a rope or somethin’,” he calls over the explosions. There’s gunfire in the distance—outside the building._

_“Just go!” Steve yells back, waving his hands at Bucky. Something explodes behind him, throwing him against the rail and if Steve thinks he’s going to leave him, he’s sorely mistaken._

_“Not without you!” Steve looks at him for a moment before sizing up the gap again. He bends his side of the railing back, eyes darting downward to the fires. It’s a good fifty-foot drop. Bucky’s heart stops—he’s going to jump. Before he can get the_ no _out, Steve has jumped, the ground he was just standing on breaking to pieces. He’s not going to make it._

Bucky wakes up shivering, unable to catch his breath. Sometimes he has dreams like this—not quite nightmares, but not good dreams either. Reliving what happened almost seventy years ago. Everyone—Sam, his shrink, the Avengers . . . they think he only has nightmares about the fall. And he’s content to leave it that way. They don’t need to know everything. It’s okay that just he and Steve know. That was . . . intimate—Steve finding him. No one else should get to share that with them. It was Steve who came for him. Not anyone else.

He rolls over, pressing himself tightly against his boyfriend. Steve makes a small noise and inhales sharply. So he _was_ asleep and Bucky just woke him up. Steve never gets sleep—he’s too busy with reconstructing S.H.I.E.L.D and taking down HYDRA. And when he’s not doing those things, he’s staying up to watch over Bucky or dealing with his own nightmares. Steve is very quiet about his problems—he would rather draw or run than talk about it, but Bucky knows. He knows how bad it was—is—for Steve. The nightmares. He isn’t sure how Steve functions around guns all the time—every time Bucky hears a car backfire or sparklers he jumps. It’s getting better . . . but he’s not there yet. He’s not to the point that he can join the team fighting wise. He does help out from the tower, though. Giving them intel from systems he’s hacked, taking over the security cameras in the area to give them the positions of their enemies, turning HYDRA’s security systems off. 

“Bucky?” Steve asks sleepily, pulling Bucky out of his headspace. The blonde rolls over and nuzzles into Bucky’s hair—he’s adorable when he’s just woken up. “You okay, baby?” Bucky wraps his arms around Steve, pulling them closer together.

“I’m fine, Steve. You can go back to sleep.” Steve makes a noise deep in his throat.

“You don’t sound okay,” Steve murmurs. “Tell me.” Bucky sighs, propping himself up so that he’s hovering over Steve. 

“It was about when you came and got me . . . out of Zola’s lab.” Steve reaches up to press a hand to Bucky’s cheek. “It wasn’t bad, really. Just disorienting. It was so _real_.” Steve pulls their foreheads together.

“I’ll always come for you,” Steve murmurs. “’Till the end of the line, Buck.” Bucky rolls his eyes, but he appreciates it. He really is grateful for Steve—for everything Steve’s done. “I love you.” Bucky bends to kiss him slowly, lips and tongue and heavy breathing.

“I love you, too,” he breathes against Steve’s lips. He allows Steve to pull him down and envelop him in the warmth of his arms. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.” Steve kisses his temple. “Probably dead.” Steve tenses.

 “We won't ever have to find out,” he says sharply. Bucky closes his eyes tightly, trying to believe that. “I promise you. I'm never letting you go again.” Bucky turns in his arms to kiss him again. “I love you so fuckin’ much, Bucky. Nothing is going to happen to you and no one is ever goin’ to take you away from me.” Bucky sighs happily, content with Steve’s words. “I’d do anything for you, Buck. I’m big enough to protect you now, and that’s exactly what I'm gonna do. I wanna bring you coffee when you’re tired and I wanna wash your hair in the shower and I wanna take you apart in bed. I love you, and no one is going to take this away from us. You can rest assured that the rest of the Avengers will back me up, too.” Bucky knows he’s right. Tony Stark is known for being a sarcastic dick, but he’s fiercely loyal to his friends, and Steve is one of the few friends he has.

“I believe you,” Bucky says. He really does. “It’s just hard sometimes.” Steve kisses him soundly on the lips, sealing his promises. “I trust you,” he murmurs, giving Steve all he has to give—his love and his trust. Steve’s looking at him with . . . wonder? Awe? Bucky can't tell, but it doesn’t matter because he knows they’re all good emotions and here in this moment, everything is perfect. He has Steve and he has his memories and he’s safe in the depths of the night right here in bed beside his boyfriend.

“Marry me,” Steve says suddenly. Bucky sits upright, startled.

“What?” Steve sits up so that they’re nose to nose.

“I'm serious.” Steve rifles through the nightstand and then gets down on one knee. Bucky can see clearly the defined lines of his chest and his cheekbones in the bright moonlight streaming through the windows. Steve is holding out a ring. A goddamn wedding ring. “James Buchannan Barnes, I have loved you for almost eighty years. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” Bucky has a hand clasped over his mouth, breathing hard.

“Yes,” he whispers, sliding down to his knees next to Steve on the floor. “Yes, Steve. Yes.” Steve smiles, laughs, and slides the ring onto Bucky’s finger.

“God, I love you.” Steve touches his lips to Bucky’s softly. 

“I love you, Steve.”

They’re getting married. And Stark better not be the best man.

 


End file.
